Jathan Janove, Chief Learning Officer
Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching
Have you ever been in a meeting that:
• Bored you to tears;
• Was an utterly waste of time; or
• Left you gnashing your teeth so hard you risked losing a crown?
If so, please read on.
One of my professional gigs is to facilitate meetings that are likely to be contentious. I’m in my twilight years, so I’m not looking for more work. Instead, I’ll give you my roadmap for how to bring order out of chaos.
Below is the checklist that I review at the outset of every meeting I conduct. Key point if you are the meeting leader: Your job is absolutely not to show how smart you are. You are a facilitator. Period.
Here’s an example of how I typically start a meeting, especially if emotions are high and conflict is likely.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” I said. “I have no position on the underlying issues. I have one role and only one role. It’s to ensure a discussion where views are respectfully exchanged, where people feel understood whether or not they are agreed with, and that the best overall decision for the organization’s interest is made based on the experience, wisdom and genuine good feelings that exist in this room.
“As facilitator, I may at times interrupt, interject, summarize, redirect, and so forth. If and when I do so, please remember that the purpose is only to ensure good discussion flow, and that when a decision is made, we leave here as fellow team members and supporters of this organization.”
Here’s my checklist:
1. Establish rules of engagement upfront. That includes what’s below as well as an admonishment that our meetings begin on time – with everyone present – and that they end on time. Also, there’s a structure so that we don’t spend 10% of our time on a fundamental change of organizational direction, and 90% of our time on whether or not we use a new brand of toilet paper in the employees’ bathrooms.
2. Civility – check your amygdala (brain’s threat detection center) at the door. Prefrontal cortex (crucial for executive functioning and decision-making) is required admission.
3. Apply the EAR method, explained here. Before you respond – that’s the R – use the E. Explore others’ positions and have them acknowledge that you understand them – not the other way around. Then and only then respond.
4. If something bothers you, use the No–FEAR technique as explained here. Succinctly, matter-of-factly summarize what bothers you. Then immediately go into the EAR.
5. Interruption paddels. One client put my face on the paddle – I have no idea why! When people start talking over each other, instead of saying, “I’m not finished!” or being intimidated into silence, simply raise the paddle. Per the engagement rules, the interrupter must immediately cease talking.
6. Substitute feedforward for feedback as described here. Instead of “your idea sucks,” say, “here’s a suggestion that may improve your idea.”
7. Instead of boring, insipid, nobody-reads-them meeting minutes, use the Same Day Summary described here. Summarize what needs to be conveyed and preserved in writing. Period.
Meetings can be a beautiful thing – if we don’t get in our own way.
.Jathan Janove, MGSCC Chief Learning Officer, is the author, most recently, of “The HR Renaissance: From Legal Guard to Growth Partner.”
